I am so lacking in sleep at the moment that everything seems to have become emotionally charged. The sleep deprivation is because I am being woken by pain due to my arthritis. However, the consequence is I am being so readily moved to tears by posts on Social Media or items on the TV. Being a great sports fan both the Rugby World Cup and the IAAF World Championships are providing plenty of drama to stir my heart. I am not complaining about this situation. Being emotional makes me feel alive. However, it is very draining.
This is a title I have long held as being apt for my autobiography.
Everybody has periods of more or less good fortune or high levels of activity contrasting with periods of ennui. Well I have this in extremis! I have a psychiatric diagnosis of bipolar.
At the moment my mood is “high” and my physical body is struggling to keep up with my over-active mind.
A weekend of sport, well watching it on the television.
My days of running round after a ball are long over.
I can still enjoy the emotional ebb and flow as the game progresses,
And admire the skill on display.
“You know? Times are hard”
“Well he has had a hard time”
And time is hard,
[Martyn Cooper 1-10-1983]
The art inside me starts to chip at my shell.
But whether a soaring bird of beauty or an ugly flightless dodo the cracks do not yet reveal
[Martyn Cooper c.1985]
Living life vicariously,
And in the memories of times past.
Hearing the rails of others at their over-activity,
While struggling with how long my days last.
I would often pontificate,
Avowing “being” over “doing”.
Now, I see how those two are never easy to separate.
I am found in my undertaking.
Being from many parts is cut;
Life has formed mine in its procession.
What am I looking for? Not praise, power, or glory, but,
For that being to find expression.
[Martyn Cooper, December 2016]
This is my first post on this new website designed to reflect current activities in my life with a few highlights from the past.